News You Can't Use: Fountain Of Youth May Be Sitting In Your Medicine Cabinet

Is there any problem that can't be solved by pills? Not that I know of. Need to get larger or smaller? Children behaving in a way that falls within normal parameters but is annoying or inconvenient? Looking to have old man sex? The answer is pills. What about the horrors of ordinary biological processes that remind us we're unique living beings and not characters from a commercial? Well, they're working on it. Soon we will all be able to realize the very wise and well thought-out dream of a Spanish explorer who suffered tropical madness in a Florida swamp. It's hard to imagine a better role model.

According to a new study from researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), the commonly prescribed diabetes drug metformin has been shown to extend the lifespan of laboratory mice when given at a certain dosage.

Of course, you're not a mouse. You don't do tasks for rewards, or get evaluated by unseen and probably malevolent keepers. You're not confined to certain designated areas or told what to do with your time.

You know what, let's just ignore the shocking similarities between the average human life and the fate of a lab animal and focus on the age defying wonders of chemistry!

The mice given the smaller dose had an average 5.8 percent increase in their lifespan compared to a control group. The mice that were given the higher dosage experienced a 14 percent decrease in lifespan, mostly due to kidney failure. The low-dosage mice did not experience renal problems.

Yeah, you might get renal problems. I guess the ridiculously optimistic headline should have mentioned that. Still, think of the extra life! The only alternative is regular exercise and a sensible diet, but forget that. Let's take diabetes drugs instead.

The researchers initially decided to investigate metformin because previous studies have shown that it can diminish a variety of age-related conditions.

I prefer to imagine one researcher that plays by his own rules but gets the job done busting into the office of the Stupid Chief, I mean research head or whatever, and being all "It's time we get on this metformin!"

“Given that metformin is clinically proven to alleviate symptoms of these conditions, and reduce risk of cancer, we thought perhaps it was a good candidate to study for its broader effects on health and lifespan.”

 "...then my kidneys literally exploded."

Researchers noted that the drug had effects similar to a low-calorie diet intervention seen to extend life in previous animal studies.

Let's have no more of this crazy "low calorie diet" talk.

Despite the study’s encouraging results, the scientists emphasized that healthy people should not start a metformin regimen since more research needs to be conducted.

If you're not healthy, do whatever you want, I guess. It's hard to think of a condition that couldn't be worsened by a total breakdown in one of your body's major systems.

“It’s clear that we are edging toward developing a pharmaceutical intervention that is going to be able to delay or postpone aging,” he said. “For how much and how long I have no idea.”

"It's very clear we're getting closer to causing some thing to happen or maybe not happen that will have some sort of effect."

“In terms of history, we’re still at the very early stages of understanding how to slow aging in a safe way,” said co-author David Sinclair, a genetics professor at Harvard Medical School.

If you're content with a dangerous way, we've got that all set to go.

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Komment Korner 

Another try from pharmaceutical companies to make profit by marketing their poisonous drug by using vague research and media. Metforman is made of a herb, if it is so beneficial why not let human eat it as a salad or raw, instead of tablets. The same tablets failed to cure diabetes. Why most diseases are incurable these days....just life long treatment..means continuous profit for pharmaceutical. This is the system of Dijall (Free-mason) anti-Christ. I think at the present time bank(interest) , politicans, war (amunition maker) and pharama are the 4 major pillars of anti-christ (dijall)

A few curious things here are , metformin lowers iron levels , iron restriction mimics 'the effects of csaloric restriction,' and iron deprivation is being used in diabetes and nafld , the same diseases metformin is used? Could it be , as is hypothesised , increased iron leads to diabetes and metformin works by removing the elevated iron? "findings strongly suggest that the age-related accumulation in muscle iron contributes to increased oxidative stress and sarcopenia, and that caloric restriction effectively attenuates these negative effects.”


Aaron Zehner is not part of the system of Dijall (Free-mason). His first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. Makes a great gift and is guaranteed not to destroy your kidneys.

News You Can't Use: 13 Worst Predictions Made on Earth Day, 1970

What better idea for a holiday than something created by a convicted murderer to mourn climate chaos? Yes, climate chaos is, to the best of my knowledge, the new correct term, replacing new ice age, global warming, inconvenient truth, global cooling, climate change, and the sky is falling oh no as the accepted progressive language to communicate the fact that we're destroying the environment. How bad is it? Well, let's look at what 1970 thought, because there's no better source of good ideas than 1970.

In 1970, the first Earth Day was celebrated — okay, “celebrated” doesn’t capture the funereal tone of the event. The events (organized in part by then hippie and now convicted murderer Ira Einhorn) predicted death, destruction and disease unless we did exactly as progressives commanded. Behold the coming apocalypse as predicted on and around Earth Day, 1970:

All right, no need for the smart mouth Mr. CONservative. The predictions can't be that bad, right? I mean, they might have guessed gas would be $4 or that we'd have nuclear disasters or something similar. That all happened. I bet these 1970 tree-huggers will be completely vindicated.

"Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind."  — Harvard biologist George Wald

Remember when civilization ended in 1985? Leave it to the Cambridge diploma-mill to produce this sort of intellectual light-weight, but we've still got some really nice universities, like Stanford, to pick a random example.

"Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years." — Stanford University biologist Paul Ehrlich

You know what? Let's just move on.

You'll fool everyone...until you open your mouth.

"In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution… by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half." — Life magazine

I'm not sure why 1985 was such a favorite for doomsday predictions. I guess 15 years was long enough for people to forget the crazy stuff you printed in a magazine...then that dang internet had to come and ruin everything. Stop holding us responsible for our deeply cynical alarmism!

"At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it's only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable." — Ecologist Kenneth Watt

Now this guy at least thought this through. It's sure to happen...eventually. Just a matter of time. Might be tomorrow, might be a thousand years. Whatever, just get scared and give up your rights so we don't end up in endless darkness with no usable land (I'm assuming he means for farming. We could still stand on it or make a baseball diamond or the like).

"Usable land" is over-rated, my SUV is thirsty!

"By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate… that there won't be any more crude oil. You'll drive up to the pump and say, ‘Fill 'er up, buddy,' and he'll say, ‘I am very sorry, there isn't any.'" — Ecologist Kenneth Watt

The most ridiculous part of this prediction is the idea that there would still be gas station attendants and polite people in 2000. Also, we still have oil, so there's that.

"The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age." — Kenneth Watt

...and you thought I was joking with that "new ice age" wise-assery earlier. 

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When you can take an idea like "let's not destroy our planet" and actually make it unsympathetic that's quite an accomplishment. Maybe a more common sense approach and less doom-saying could lead to sensible reforms instituted in a equitable manner. On the other hand, I didn't go to HARVARD!!!!111oneoneone so let's just say if we don't shape up we'll all be dead by 2020, at the latest.

Komment Korner  

And yet, despite being totally wrong about everything he's ever predicted, Paul Ehrlich still has credibility among the Chicken Little Left. 

put the vicks formula 44 bottle down

"if present trends continue" The above caveat is the problem. We have never been able to predict if trends will continue or change. Why would anyone think that temperature trends or other climatic trends would be any different? 

We are pitiful creatures indeed. 

Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in e-book format at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.