News You Can't Use: Grown Men Squabble Over Toy Car on Black Friday

Say what you want about so-called "online shopping," which has flash in the pan written all over it, the real action is on "Black Friday." No, not that movie with the brain transplant surgeon who kills mobsters, I'm talking about the retail thunderdomes. Here you can brawl with your fellow human units over minor discounts, cling to the electronics of exotic and far-away Cathay like a giant leech and have the entire humiliating debacle preserved for posterity by ubiquitous cameras and the general voyeuristic tendencies of a dying society. Honestly, think of what you're "saving." It isn't your dignity, but who cares?

A video of four grown men squabbling over a toy car sums up the utter mindlessness that is Black Friday.  

I think this whole "mindlessness" idea is a bridge too far. Clearly there was an advanced thought process and it was "me want toy car."

The clip shows four different people trying to haul away the item, as a woman tells one of the men, “Stop! Let go!”

Why should I let go? What about the other three? How is this fair? So many questions.

Three other men then continue to pathetically push the box in different directions as a store employee looks on despairingly.

If you've ever worked in customer service you know that look very well.

“You’re breaking it!” one woman tells them.

That's what she said! Wait. It really was.

Another store employee then steps in to tell them to “drop it,” before his colleague states, “Neither one of you gets it.”

Man, you phonies don't get it, you aren't with the times. This materialism isn't as important as, like, a sunset or getting nicely baked.

Other videos show fights in malls and stores across the country, including one instance where a woman threw a shoe that hit a baby.

We've conquered disease and famine, built a democracy where power is peacefully exchanged between hostile ideologies and invented special grabbing sticks for the morbidly obese, but you want to focus on some minor shoe throwing infanticide.

 ...and I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free...

People are even buying fake Walmart and Best Buy employee vests so they can try to skip the line.

And still there are a few cranks who insist we're not making progress into a better future.

Black Friday is a complete scam based around the myth that shoppers are getting discounts they wouldn’t get at any other time of the year.

Thank you for exposing this ridiculous scam, Infowars. Now to purchase a bottle of Super Alpha Male Brain Vitality Snake Serum from this site for $39.99.

Many of the same deals for which shoppers spend hours camped outside stores are also available online anyway, in some cases days in advance of Black Friday.

Yes, but consider the social aspect you'll miss out on.

Full Article.

Komment Korner   

Meh, I bought a DVD of "War For The Planet Of The Apes". It only cost me $1.57. Not bad for a DVD I was going to get anyway.

0bama's America. NONE of this was happening before the Kenyan Criminal and his side-kick Creepy Joe were elected.

Communist China is having a very good day today. They have a very good day every day, because all the crap we buy is manufactured in China by Chinese using American profits to fund their continuous capital expansion. I'm on the wrong side, I think. Let me practice: Ni hao ma?

When I go BLACK shopping, I take a BaseBall bat and beat the living hell out of anybody in my way. That is what we all should do.
 

Democrats: "you want to go back to the '50's?? " Me: "OK"

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.