News You Can't Use: Austrian Radio Jockey Punished for Playing 'Last Christmas' 24 Times

It just isn't the non-denominational, miracle-free totally secular holiday break period and common era date reset without all that great music. Whether it's sounds about telling ghost stories and roasting marshmallows (I think you got Christmas, er, the Holiday, confused with camping, bro) stuff about bells or snowmen animated to a cruel mockery of life by unholy magical forces the goodness just keeps coming. It's so nice, repeatedly playing a minor hit from the eighties that mentions our atheistic rest break might even be appropriate, but not apparently in Austria. For those of you U.S. Americans that don't have maps that's the Hitler and Porsche one, not the dingo and Mad Max.

An Austrian radio station has punished one of its moderators after he locked himself in the studio only to play the song 'Last Christmas', a cult hit from the 1980s by British band Wham!, 24 times in a row.

I imagine the scene was similar to the one in "Shawshank Redemption" complete with enraged bully boys pounding on the door while a numb population looks up toward the amazing sounds, suddenly filled with hope and sense of purpose by the transcendent high art that is a limp eighties pop song.

Only once the moderator's daughter called the studio to beg her father to stop because the song made everyone "mad" did he finish his one-song marathon, according to a video on Youtube. 

We're also being controlled by shape-shifting lizard monsters according to the same highly credible source. "Watch this video, broham, it'll like blow your mind!"

Timm Bodner, programming Chief of the station Antenne Kaernten in Austria's province of Carinthia, told Reuters on Wednesday the 27-year-old disc jockey barricaded the studio last Friday with a wooden stick to play the prank on his listeners.

"In general, it was funny but there must be consequences," Bodner told Reuters in a telephone conversation. 

We all enjoyed your little prank, now you must be horribly punished. It was funny though, seriously.

"As a consequence he will have to work tomorrow on Christmas and on New Year's eve."

You were bad at your job so we want you doing it more often. Logic trap. Whether he'll have to wake up the next employee before he go, goes, remains unknown as of this writing.

Full Story. 

Komment Korner    

I just checked out the song on YouTube. i could only stand about 15 seconds of it. It could be used as a substitute for waterboarding terrorist prisoners. 

The people who should be punished are Wham! 

Heck, the warden threw Andy into the hole for a week for playing a song one time...

What an idiotic song. Especially considering that George Michael was the singer.

The solution? Next year, he's going to give his heart to "someone special".

I hope he plays it in a loop over his Christmas and New Years shifts..


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.