News You Can't Use: Facebook Disabled 1 Billion Fake Accounts in the Last Year

Hey everyone, did you here about the internet site where you can post all your personal information and embarrassing pictures? This data will then be used against you by everyone from your country's Though Police, predatory advertisers, con-artists and ordinary people who don't like you. This is really a great idea, you'd be a fool not to voluntarily participate in this honey-trap. Besides, think of all the "likes." That's a virtual thumbs up, the most precious of all commodities, in case you didn't know.

Facebook continued to give the public a peek behind the curtain, releasing a major report on Tuesday that announced the Silicon Valley company removed more than one billion fake accounts.

You mean that extremely open-minded model who expressed interest in my profile out of nowhere might not be entirely on the level?

Facebook also said it purged millions of posts that violate its rules in the last year.

"Purged." Whoever wrote this knows what's up.

The first-ever “Community Standards Enforcement Report,” a robust 81 pages, details the company’s efforts to weed out unsavory content, including violence and terrorist propaganda.  

Your next big target should be duckfaces and pictures of food.

Facebook disabled 583 million fake accounts during the Q1 of 2018, and 694 million the quarter before.

This obviously made-up name and the ridiculous account that goes with it must be deleted. See ya, "Barack Obama."

Facebook’s relationship with nudity is tricky. The company restricts sexual content and nudity because some users “may be sensitive to this type of content,” according to its guidelines.  

I have extremely puritanical beliefs about the evils of the human body, but I'm also on my sex box, non-stop.

There are some allowances, however, including protests and works of art.

I was showing my completely flaccid member in protest of Tibet or whatever. This is art.

“We aim to reduce violations to the point that our community doesn’t regularly experience them,” said Facebook VPs Guy Rosen and Alex Schultz in the report.

We'll shield the marks from reality.

Facebook removed 2.5 million comments that violate its hate speech rules so far this year — up from 1.6 million at the end of 2017.

If you ask what those rules actually are, that's also "hate speech."

The report comes on the heels of the Cambridge Analytica data leak, where up to 87 million users had their profiles unknowingly compromised.

Yeah. Whoopsie. Sorry about that.

Full Article.

Komment Korner

For the eight years we were saddled with obama

Pointing out that Obama visited gay bath houses in Chicago needs to be protected.

Facebook users are essentially pissing on the graves of all those who fought and died for privacy rights. Facebook is a carrot and stick for undeserving people.

'Consensus Reality' Is Ever-Changing, And Always Incorrect.

I wasn't aware that anybody other than complete imbeciles were still using Farcebook.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here. 

News You Can't Use: 2 Dead Skunks Found With ‘Obama Stinks’ Sign

Want to make a meaningless political statement that will have no impact whatsoever on the present transformation of America into the best country to ever exist? If you're relatively normal, you'll do the sensible thing and just post your crazy, wet-brain thoughts on the internet. Honestly, what could be more healthy than draining the venom under an assumed name on the tubes? It just feels right. Then we've got people that decide the best empty gestures are achieved with dead varmints and dead tree signage. Please do not imitate these people and seek out the tons of free publicity we give them under the guise of condemning their actions.

Police in Fairfield, Connecticut, are investigating the discovery of two dead skunks with a sign reading “Obama Stinks.”

Luckily there's no real crime, so we can waste tax dollars trying to avenge the deaths of vermin.

One skunk had string wrapped around its neck and was nailed to a telephone pole, while the other was found at the base. The sign with the anti-Obama message was attached to the pole and also had an American flag with a hammer and sickle in place of the stars.

SKUNK News, when the slightly right of center ravings of FOX news just aren't getting it. We kill stinky giant rats and spread the truth about the U.S.S.A.

A woman who noticed the dead animals called Fairfield police at 8:40 Tuesday morning.

"There's a dead skunk and crime speech, please send the police tank."

Fairfield Police Lt. James Perez said authorities aren’t sure what to make of the sign.

Yeah, it is pretty inscrutable.

The police are helpless, can YOU figure this out?

“Is it a direct threat? I’m not sure it’s even a veiled threat. We really don’t know what it is at this point,” Perez told WCBS 880’s Alex Silverman.

At this point I'm not even sure if I could spell my own name. Oh well, back to use high-powered weapons and military vehicles to "protect" the community.

“They wanted to present a message to others of their views and they wanted to do it in such a shocking way that it would get people’s attention. It clearly got their attention,” Chief Gary MacNamara told WCBS 880’s Connecticut Bureau Chief Fran Schneidau said.

A slightly more intelligent member of the force explained the situation.

However, it does seem to be clear case of animal cruelty, Silverman reported.

Arranging dead vermin to make a political point...First Amendment protected? Get on this, Supreme Court.

“In this day and age with so many people leading complex lives, it’s silly that you would have someone make such a bold statement using a defenseless animal,” Perez said.

In fairness they're more than capable of defending themselves, what with that musk and all.

Anyone with information that may be helpful is urged to contact police or animal control.

An issue for the town dog catcher or something that will require a police air strike...we're still not sure.

Don't visit the ad-riddled source. http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2015/03/10/2-dead-skunks-found-with-obama-stinks-sign-in-fairfield-conn/

Komment Korner  

Now that's what I call truth in advertising!

ha, this is great.... although I could use better words than "stinks" when it comes to the serial lying fraud

Gotta love those progressive liberals.... What will they think of next?

I'm having a VERY good time at your expense!

And, you'll wet your bed again tonight

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: The Average College Freshman Reads at 7th Grade Level

Today's story combines two of my favorite things: "Woo, College, Let's Party, Woo Woo!" and massive systemic failure creating a generation that in a decade or so will be charitably described as "easily ruled." While the non-college troglodyte has presumably lost all faculty for human speech and even the most basic empathy, our best and brightest would consider Captain Courageous to be an indecipherable jumble of confusing language and distressingly absent hash tags. Yup, it's time for another article about our national toboggan ride down Thrill Hill.

The average U.S. college freshman reads at a seventh grade level, according to an educational assessment report.  

Meanwhile the average seventh grader reads at the level of a second trimester unborn baby. Let's just face up to it. These grade levels, created in more optimistic times, have now lost all meaning. They're making us feel bad, so it's time to just lower all standards and pretend the problem has been fixed until it predictably crops up again.

“We are spending billions of dollars trying to send students to college and maintain them there when, on average, they read at about the grade 6 or 7 level, according to Renaissance Learning’s latest report on what American students in grades 9-12 read, whether assigned or chosen,” said education expert Dr. Sandra Stotsky.

Horny vampire owns heavy industry and Lil Suzie goes to 1984 land are about the best we can hope for out of Generation Nothing. Spending money on education, is there a bigger shuck?

Stotsky, a Professor Emerita at the University of Arkansas, served on the Common Core Validation Committee in 2009-10, during which she called the standards “inferior.”

Another University of Arkansas snob. We can't all be "Hogs," after all.

Also, hey high achievers! If you're good at noticing obvious failure and really good at vanishing when it's time to propose solutions then you, too, could make that Validation Committee chedda.

“The average reading level for five of the top seven books assigned as summer reading by 341 colleges using Renaissance Learning’s readability formula was rated 7.56 [meaning halfway through seventh grade],” Stotsky told Breitbart Texas.

Today we'll be discussing Mister Bunny Gets a New Home. Next week I'll get a phantom illness and cancel class via a note on the door. Go Hogs!

The study also found that most high school graduates don’t do much with mathematics past eighth-grade compared to students in other high-achieving countries.

Yes, we're still getting smoked in "Rithmetic" too, in case you were wondering.

“Indeed, they seem to be suggesting that a middle school level of reading is satisfactory, even though most college textbooks and adult literary works written before 1970 require mature reading skills.”

After 1970 the average literary work became a pretentious word salad that no one really understands or enjoys regardless of education, so that's at least not a problem.

“For almost 100 years, there have been many surveys in this country of what children prefer to read. Despite changes in immigration patterns, family literacy, and cultural influences, what boys and girls like to read has been relatively stable,” said Stotsky.

It almost suggests inherent differences, but I'd like to keep my sinecure position, thank you very much.

According to Breitbart Texas, Stotsky is credited with creating the strongest set of k-12 academic standards in the country while working for the Massachusetts Department of Education, and is responsible for developing licensure tests for prospective teachers.

Can't wait to see that Phoenix-style comeback that these new standards bring about.

Full Story.

Komment Korner 

The schools' failures do produce excellent lemmings, which are beloved by politicians.

Perhaps that is the real motivation behind Mrs. Obama's food lunch program.

After being forced into retirement (thanks Congress/Obama) I am starting at a University in the next week.

Many college grads now don't have sense enough to pour piss out of a boot.

Ever heard of the 5 finger rule?

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.