News You Can't Use: Nearly 100 Schoolchildren 'Possessed by the Devil'

It's hard out there for a demon. It's already been thoroughly established by vision and revelation that you're going to lose, but you're expected to go out there and run through the motions anyway. You get blamed for evils you had little if anything to do with, everything from simple to hysteria to government ineptitude. And, especially relevant for today's amazing story, you get confused with the ghosts of dead Made Men and have to take the blame for that, too. To add insult to injury they insist that you're unleashed by a novelty made by Parker Brothers. Yeah, it ain't easy.

The mass case of 'demonic possession' has caused some pupils to suffer from seizures while others have fainted at the school. 

Are we sure this isn't malnutrition caused by rejected Michelle Meals or the natural reaction to common core math?

Almost 100 schoolchildren are thought to have been 'possessed' by the devil - and see visions of a man in black trying to kill them.

Don't do it evil Johnny Cash wraith! Not like this!

In what has been described as a mass case of demonic possession, the pupils in Peru are experiencing seizures alongside their horrifying hallucinations.

It seems a more convincing explanation than the lead pipes, paint and dinner plates.

Experts have struggled to explain the strange goings-on, which also include widespread convulsions and fainting at the school , reportedly built on a Mafia graveyard.

You mooks bedda get off our bone garden if you know what's good for you. Got a nice school, shame if someone would bust it up with demonic mischief, I'm just sayin'.

According to local reports, as many as 80 students at the Elsa Perea Flores School in northern Peru’s Tarapoto have been experiencing the supposedly contagious ‘condition’ since last month.

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize for my fear-mongering campaign against anti-devil vaccinations. Myself and that annoying Playboy model were very wrong, obviously. Now problems we thought we wiped out in The Enlightenment are back and worse than ever.

Shocking video footage shows pupils who are barely conscious, repeatedly screaming, and who appear to be delirious.

Also known as "Kids React to Hillary Clinton campaign commercials."

Doctor Antony Choy told national channel Panamericana TV: "We don’t understand how this has kept on going on.
 
Obviously science is helpless in the face of diabolic activity, as you would expect.

"My friends say I was screaming desperately, but I don’t remember much."

Something about not wanting to take that swimming test, everything else is a blur.

Another schoolgirl said she had trouble breathing and was desperately holding her neck as if someone was strangling her. According to her friends, she kept screaming: "Take it out."

When the kinky industrialist vampire is finally destroyed by direct sunlight and becomes a kinky disembodied spirit.

 How do you even work this thing?

Franklin Steiner, a parapsychologist who investigates paranormal and psychic phenomena - said: "It is known that years ago there were many victims of terrorism here. When this school was built, some say bones and dead bodies were found."

Terrorist victims, wise guys, whatever. I think we'll make it an ancient Algonquin burial ground for the movie version, which, of course, will be set in the United States and feature a racially diverse cast of attractive twenty-somethings pretending to be in high school.

Locals believe this is a case of demonic interference, saying some children must have played games that invoke demons such as using a Ouija board.

Demonic interference, fifteen yard penalty, automatic first down. 

A Ouija board is marked with letters and numbers and some use it to communicate with souls of the dead. Many religious organisations have warned against using the boards, saying that they can lead to demonic possession. 

I'm pretty sure the instructions that come with it make that abundantly clear, as well as mentioning the possible choking hazard.

As of yet, there has been no rational or official explanation for the strange phenomenon.

In the absence of this it makes sense to consider the craziest possible solutions.

Full Article.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

News You Can't Use: Does the US Need a Nationwide Exorcism?

The nice thing about this current era is that no matter who you ask, whether it's the shrill eternal victims or the lecturing parental substitutes, you'll be told in no uncertain terms how bad everything is. This is the one issue we can all rally around and share common scotched Earth. What to do about all this ungood is where things start to get mildly contentious. Certainly throwing money and making speeches should be top priority, but does this country need a spiritual enema? As you might have guessed, some religious leaders are saying that in does.

Can — or should — an exorcism be done for the United States, as was done in Mexico this past May?

Well it obviously fixed Mexico. Please ignore the crime talk of that wealthy bankruptcy court fan with the elaborate hair to the contrary.

Cardinal Juan Sandoval Íñiguez, the archbishop emeritus of Guadalajara, performed the rite, together with priests from across Mexico, at the Cathedral of San Luis Potosí in a closed-door ceremony. The purpose: to drive away the evil responsible for skyrocketing violence, abortion and drugs in that predominantly-Catholic nation.

I wonder how you get a crucifix large enough to press into the forehead of an entire puking, head-spinning blaspheming country that's under diabolic occupation making people want to get high or have irresponsible sexual intercourse.

Such “exorcisms … have helped bring awareness that there is such a thing as sin influenced by Satan,” said Msgr. John Esseff, a priest for 62 years in the Diocese of Scranton, Pa., and an exorcist for more than 35 years.

No, this exorcism won't actually remove the demon from your body, but it will raise awareness and educate people on the problem, which is almost as good as a real solution, right? Better understanding and open dialogue should make you stop levitating and spider-walking down stairs.

“The devil has much to do with [influencing people in] breaking the law of God,” he said.

When we're not blaming video games or historical flags, that is.

In 2013, Bishop Thomas Paprocki of Springfield, Ill., performed a minor exorcism at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Springfield in response to the governor’s signing same-sex “marriage” into law on that day.

You might remember him from a Two Minutes Hate.

He said the prayer service was “not meant to demonize anyone,” but was “intended to call attention to the diabolical influences of the devil that have penetrated our culture.”

We put warning stickers on those Iron Maiden records, what more could have been done?

Father Gary Thomas, pastor at Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Saratoga, Calif., and the exorcist for the Diocese of San Jose, said he has seen notable improvements after exorcising homes and when he re-dedicated a church.

"I feel a little better. I guess."

He also cautioned against making a public announcement when exorcising a geographic area because there is usually backlash in the form of skepticism and ridicule.

I know, hard to believe.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad idea — just that, if it’s done, it should be done quietly.”

A nice low-key and private national exorcism, that's the ticket.

“It was Pope Benedict XVI who said that as faith diminishes, superstition increases.”

There is a certain irony.

I want you to know what your mother is doing in hell.

Father Mike Driscoll, chaplain of St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Ottawa, Ill., and author of the new book Demons, Deliverance, and Discernment, explained that, in addition to possession, demons can infest a place or thing. 

You all saw that creepy doll movie, right? 

“The average Joe reading this might think, ‘Oh, there must be a bunch of people possessed who need to be exorcised,’” said Father Driscoll, who is a licensed counselor.

An ordinary thought from an average man. "Golly. Must be a bunch of people possessed at my typical job where I earn the median national wage. Better get them exorcised, yup."

Father Patrick (not his real name) is a parish priest and also an exorcist for his U.S. diocese. He said that there are differences when exorcising a place rather than a person.

A demonic witness protection program, I guess.

“We want to shift superiority over an area to the angels, but there is still the ground level [response] that needs all the priests to engage in battle too.” 

We were promised lightning bolt from heaven strikes but no actual halos on the ground.

Full Article.

Komment Korner  

Obviously you are Not Catholic 

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

The entire country is in the grip of Satan.

An exorcism may take many days or years to perform at times depending on the amount of demons or djinn  

Save America…or copyrights. I guess the copyrights are more important.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.