Showing posts with label Climate Chaos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Climate Chaos. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

News You Can't Use: Half of all US Food Produce is Thrown Away, New Research Suggests

Trends come and go, but wasting food is something that is always at the bleeding edge of what is considered "with it" or "23 skiddoo," if you will. And there's no food more deserving of being wasted than vegetables, natures cruel joke on our taste-buds and internal digestive systems. With ideas about cleaning the old plate to broom the stomach correctly held in derision by picky eaters everywhere it's perhaps a fitting irony that the current piles of rotting Michelle Obama lunch waste is actually being caused by the tiny and hated minority that, for whatever reason, likes broccoli.

Americans throw away almost as much food as they eat because of a “cult of perfection”, deepening hunger and poverty, and inflicting a heavy toll on the environment.

You Americans and your perfectionism, as demonstrated by your intellectual rigor and svelte belt-lines. Because of the demands for the elusive perfect radish (real radishes, who a man like you couldn't handle by the way, are misshapen and covered in spots) we're somehow causing world hunger, making people poor and destroying our environment with compost piles, the natural enemy of all plant life.

Vast quantities of fresh produce grown in the US are left in the field to rot, fed to livestock or hauled directly from the field to landfill, because of unrealistic and unyielding cosmetic standards, according to official data and interviews with dozens of farmers, packers, truckers, researchers, campaigners and government officials.

I  blame Hollywood and the media for created an impossible standard of vegetable beauty that fails to recognize that all produce is uniquely beautiful and special and certainly doesn't need to change for a brute like you as it's taken from the field straight to the landfill. Also, someone is going around interviewing truckers about vegetable waste. Really. "Yeah, foughettaboutit, I dumped all that cauliflower in the gutter and spend the rest of the day leaning against my truck and making threatening and/or lecherous faces at passerby."

“It’s all about blemish-free produce,” says Jay Johnson, who ships fresh fruit and vegetables from North Carolina and central Florida. “What happens in our business today is that it is either perfect, or it gets rejected. It is perfect to them, or they turn it down. And then you are stuck.”

Just take this jet-black banana that's currently dripping foul liquids and eat it. I don't think that's asking too much. Think of Ray-Jay Johnson and his North Cakalaki shipping concern next time, so you can attach a face and annoying comedy act to the damage your selfishness is causing.

Food waste is often described as a “farm-to-fork” problem. Produce is lost in fields, warehouses, packaging, distribution, supermarkets, restaurants and fridges.

And yet, in a highly magnanimous display, the ordinary consumer gets blamed.

By one government tally, about 60m tonnes of produce worth about $160bn (£119bn), is wasted by retailers and consumers every year - one third of all foodstuffs.

Love those wacky non-metric measures. We're talking 60m rands of green sludge, worth 160bn Imperial Ducats, wasted every year.

“I would say at times there is 25% of the crop that is just thrown away or fed to cattle,” said Wayde Kirschenman, whose family has been growing potatoes and other vegetables near Bakersfield, California, since the 1930s. “Sometimes it can be worse.”

I'd propose a solution, but there really isn't one and we're just wasting our time here.

Then they're going to throw me away or send me to a landfill...OH MY GOD!!!!

Table grapes that did not conform to a wedge shape were dumped. Entire crates of pre-cut orange wedges were directed to landfill. 

Parsnips that refused to take a loyalty oath were lined up against walls and shot.

In June, Kirschenman wound up feeding a significant share of his watermelon crop to cows.

You can make your own joke, I'm not touching this one.

Imperfect Produce, a subscription delivery service for “ugly” food in the San Francisco Bay area, estimates that about one-fifth of all fruit and vegetables are consigned to the dump because they do not conform to the industry standard of perfection.

Imperfect Produce, when you care enough to feed your family food that isn't considered adequate animal fodder.

That lost food is seen increasingly as a drag on household incomes – about $1,600 a year for a family of four – and a direct challenge to global efforts to fight hunger, poverty and climate change.

We also have on good authority this caused Donald Trump.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Friday, September 25, 2015

News You Can't Use: Billionaire Steyer Calls for More Democratic Debates

Great news everyone, Rich Uncle Pennybags has noticed that zero Democrat debates have occurred and he wants more. The even better news, if that first sentence didn't already get you into a lather, is that this should be no problem since, if you want to get super technical, it would be impossible to have fewer debates than the current goose egg. And who doesn't love a good argument between the heir presumptive and some elderly sixties leftovers? Yes, as usual a billionaire who did some sort of capital management that you wouldn't understand and would be appalled and enraged if you did has shown us all the way.

Billionaire Democratic donor Tom Steyer on Friday afternoon called on the party to add another debate focused on climate change and clean energy, adding his voice to a pitched disagreement over the number of Democratic debates.

Yeah, that would be exciting, watching everyone agree that climate change is real and we need more clean energy. Who can shout the affirmative the loudest, this is the big test before we hand you the reigns of the world's only remaining Super Power.

Wait, we got downgraded from that? Something, huge debts, something, China? Oh, never mind then.

Steyer, an environmentalist who is one of the party’s major financiers and who already hosted a fundraiser for Hillary Clinton, said he wants the debate to occur before the Iowa caucuses in February.

Is his support for one of the candidates a conflict of interest or have we all stop carrying about "rules?"

“Since the candidates — and the Democratic Party — understand that climate change is our greatest threat, they must allow voters the opportunity to hear a thoughtful and robust discussion — not just a single question — about their plans to solve this issue,”reads the release put out by Steyer’s group, NextGen Climate.

Several thrilling hours of agreeing on everything but ultimately meaningless minutia and discussing wind farms, bicycling everywhere, solar power success stories like Solyndra...good seats still available. 

But the DNC showed no willingness to budge on Friday, instead suggesting that Steyer could host a candidate forum, not a debate.

You can do an autograph session and maybe some gimmick tables but nobody wants a thoughtful and robust discussion of anything, let alone alternate energy and eliminating the flush toilet and automobile for anyone with a net worth less than $1,000,000,000.

Bernie Sanders has also urged the DNC to add more debates, while Clinton — who Steyer has not formally endorsed — has simply said she is open to participating in more.

As long as they don't conflict with the court dates, of course.

Later I'll show you this clock I took apart.

Steyer, whose wallet would be significant to any presidential candidate, recently praised Clinton over her opposition of the Keystone XL pipeline. 

We want your wallet, not your wet-brain single issue fixations.

The first Democratic debate is currently set for October 13 in Las Vegas.

What happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas, hopefully. 


Komment Korner  

How can one be so, so rich and yet so, so stupid? 

I've­­­­­ made ­­­­­$84,000­­­­­ so­­­­­ far­­­­­ this­­­­­ year­­­­­ working­­­­­ online­­­­­

go back to china, Uzbekistan, or wherever you are...

Sanders isn't a socialist. He's a democratic socialist. 

I'd like to see Hillary and the ancient commie go at each other with whips and cattle prods.


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Friday, March 27, 2015

News You Can't Use: Six Flags to Cut 18,000 Trees to go Solar

We're clearly in the grips of a climate chaos that can easily be observed by watching the orderly and predictable progression of the seasons. The solution is breaking the grip of fossil fuels and their evil ally, trees. If thing go as planned we could have another Solyndra success story on our hands. And if they don't, who cares, because we had the veneer of good intentions covering increasingly destructive and illogical behavior. Yes, it's time to sit down and ask ourselves "Why is Saving the Earth so tainted with crazy that its credibility as an argument is totally ruined?" For an answer, consider the following amazing paragraphs.

A theme park plans to cut down more than 18,000 trees for the construction of what it says will be the largest solar farm in New Jersey.

We can say this without a hint of irony or self-awareness. First we hammer the pollution-creating trees. Then we create a doomed at birth project that should be able to keep everything running provided we never have a single cloudy day. Or nighttime. Then Peace Prizes and big profits, I would assume.

Six Flags Great Adventure says the facility will generate 21.9 megawatts, or enough to power about 3,100 homes, and capable of meeting all of the park's needs.

Unless there's two fluffy white clouds over the sun, in which case it will create enough power to almost keep one of those mini-fridges running.

The facility will be located east of the safari park in Jackson and is expected to be operational during the second half of 2016.

Discount lion safari and a chance to see broken and rotting solar arrays? Only in New Jersey, the magical place where dreams are cloaked in flesh and rust. First they gave us Bon Jovi, now this. The Garden State truly is America's Santa Claus.

Park President John Fitzgerald said in a statement that solar power will significantly reduce the park's reliance on fossil fuels.

No more endlessly pouring foreign oil into the "Wack-a-Mole" games and the tea cup ride.

We've got to get those trees cut down right away!

Six Flags spokeswoman Kristin Siebeneicher tells the Asbury Park Press the park and KDC Solar have pledged to replant 25,000 trees over a period of seven years.

I'm still waiting for them to fix "The Whizzer" so don't hold your breath.


Komment Korner  

Looks like your professors f-ed up your sense of reality again.

Their azz is their brain

If you can't attack the facts then attack the spelling.

brilliant, and solar farms are so attractive.

They are attractive. They are like a huge billboard that says "I'm with stupid."


Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

News You Can't Use: 13 Worst Predictions Made on Earth Day, 1970

What better idea for a holiday than something created by a convicted murderer to mourn climate chaos? Yes, climate chaos is, to the best of my knowledge, the new correct term, replacing new ice age, global warming, inconvenient truth, global cooling, climate change, and the sky is falling oh no as the accepted progressive language to communicate the fact that we're destroying the environment. How bad is it? Well, let's look at what 1970 thought, because there's no better source of good ideas than 1970.


In 1970, the first Earth Day was celebrated — okay, “celebrated” doesn’t capture the funereal tone of the event. The events (organized in part by then hippie and now convicted murderer Ira Einhorn) predicted death, destruction and disease unless we did exactly as progressives commanded. Behold the coming apocalypse as predicted on and around Earth Day, 1970:

All right, no need for the smart mouth Mr. CONservative. The predictions can't be that bad, right? I mean, they might have guessed gas would be $4 or that we'd have nuclear disasters or something similar. That all happened. I bet these 1970 tree-huggers will be completely vindicated.

"Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind."  — Harvard biologist George Wald

Remember when civilization ended in 1985? Leave it to the Cambridge diploma-mill to produce this sort of intellectual light-weight, but we've still got some really nice universities, like Stanford, to pick a random example.

"Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years." — Stanford University biologist Paul Ehrlich

You know what? Let's just move on.

You'll fool everyone...until you open your mouth.

"In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution… by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half." — Life magazine

I'm not sure why 1985 was such a favorite for doomsday predictions. I guess 15 years was long enough for people to forget the crazy stuff you printed in a magazine...then that dang internet had to come and ruin everything. Stop holding us responsible for our deeply cynical alarmism!

"At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it's only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable." — Ecologist Kenneth Watt

Now this guy at least thought this through. It's sure to happen...eventually. Just a matter of time. Might be tomorrow, might be a thousand years. Whatever, just get scared and give up your rights so we don't end up in endless darkness with no usable land (I'm assuming he means for farming. We could still stand on it or make a baseball diamond or the like).

"Usable land" is over-rated, my SUV is thirsty!

"By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate… that there won't be any more crude oil. You'll drive up to the pump and say, ‘Fill 'er up, buddy,' and he'll say, ‘I am very sorry, there isn't any.'" — Ecologist Kenneth Watt

The most ridiculous part of this prediction is the idea that there would still be gas station attendants and polite people in 2000. Also, we still have oil, so there's that.

"The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age." — Kenneth Watt

...and you thought I was joking with that "new ice age" wise-assery earlier. 


When you can take an idea like "let's not destroy our planet" and actually make it unsympathetic that's quite an accomplishment. Maybe a more common sense approach and less doom-saying could lead to sensible reforms instituted in a equitable manner. On the other hand, I didn't go to HARVARD!!!!111oneoneone so let's just say if we don't shape up we'll all be dead by 2020, at the latest.

Komment Korner  

And yet, despite being totally wrong about everything he's ever predicted, Paul Ehrlich still has credibility among the Chicken Little Left. 

put the vicks formula 44 bottle down

"if present trends continue" The above caveat is the problem. We have never been able to predict if trends will continue or change. Why would anyone think that temperature trends or other climatic trends would be any different? 

We are pitiful creatures indeed. 


Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in e-book format at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.