News You Can't Use: New Mask Could Make Users Masters Of Their Dreams

Dreams. What the hell are they, anyway? It looks like we're finally ready for the major step forward in comprehending our nightly organic head chemical freak-out episodes. Finally we'll have a better weapon to use against the dream demons than turning our backs and hoping for the best. And what about all your sick fantasies not being properly catered to by stupid old reality? You can get that too, and all I need is just some of your money that you probably would have wasted anyway.

As you get ready to go to sleep tonight, think about what you want to dream about.

Then weep when you realize that what you're asking for is all the problems and stress of the past day to take on horrific twisted forms and attack when you're completely helpless. Well, that must be what you're requesting, because that's what you're probably getting, with perhaps a side of lame wish fulfillment, reliving events from your childhood and totally messed up Freud vileness.

With new technology it just might be possible to dream that dream, and even control the action as a dream master.

Just like in that futurist movie about the razor fingered burn victim! What a time to be alive!

“You think of a purple cow, you turn a corner, and there’s a purple cow,” dream expert Thomas Piesel explained.

All your most depraved purple cow impulses can now be safely expressed in the dream world. Honestly, just consider it. Turn a corner, there's a cow. Man.

As CBS2’s Kristine Johnson reported, Piesel uses a new type of sleep mask to conjure imagery in his dreams.

Hopefully it doesn't cover the head holes or it might be a pretty serviceable sleep apnea simulator as well.

It uses a programmable light pattern designed to turn on when you’re in a semi-wakeful state to control what you see and do in your dreams. It’s called ‘lucid dreaming.’

Maybe we should start by getting more people somewhat lucid while in the waking state, but whatever.

“You can walk through walls, you can even talk to the dream itself,” he said.

It's like taking the ticket and having a bum trip but totally legal!

Piesel has written about dreams and has volumes of dream journals. Now, he’s added a technology to his dream control arsenal.

This guy is probably a lot of fun at parties.

Frazier and Steve McGuigan developed the dream mask called Remee. They said the sleeping mind can recognize the color and brightness of the embedded lights, allowing the wearer to be more conscious of their dreams.

I'm not sure how this would actually, you know, work, but on the other hand we get to see a light show.

Sleep expert Dr. Daniel Erichsen said this is illustrated in these brainwave patterns where there is little difference in a sleeping and waking mind.

Yeah right, dude. Maybe for all the sheeple but I subscribe to several conspiracy newsletters and know the truth about the Reptiles ruling over us.

Don't you go ruining another Lucid Dreaming Day.

He’s not convinced that light patterns will affect the lucid dreaming state. 

Blinking lights, purple cows, come on it all makes sense.

“There’s no harm in it, but there’s no evidence that it works,” he said.

I guess if you want to get super technical for some reason there is that minor issue.

If you need a dream mask to help you get there it will cost you about $100.

Cheap!

Full Article.

Aaron Zehner is the author of "The Foolchild Invention" available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.

Twistaplot #17 Ghost Riders of Goldspur

Last time an amazing space adventure was ruined by United Nations propaganda so I think it's time to go back to Twist-A-Plot, where terrible plotting and misplaced sarcasm do the ruining instead of the New World Order. Today's choice is perhaps the perfect antidote to that, featuring the Wild West, guns as a solution to problems, and improbable time-travel/untreated narcolepsy plot devices. Will this series finally produce an entry that doesn't earn my wrath? Well, you're not going to find out re-reading the opening paragraph over and over, which I assume all readers do unless I explicitly give permission to enter the main body of the review with a clever transition sentence. Let's saddle up!

Welcome to Twist-A-Plot World, where nothing can possibly go wrong.

Like many epic tales it begins with passive listening as a member of a tour group. I'm told that it's the Centennial of some rather nondescript wild west crime spree. Some outlaws came into town, robbed it, set everything on fire and left. Again, kind of blah. It's not like they shot someone for snoring too loud or used a stolen gatling gun to try to take over the Territory of Arizona or something. I'm so stoked about this that I'm all "Wow! One Whole Century!" Yes, kid, this is what passes for excitement before your body's internal chemistry suddenly changes and causes you to constantly think about breasts to the exclusion of everything else. 

Stay tuned for my complete review of the "Time Life Wild West" series, starting in 2038.

There's a legend that the outlaw Harley Brothers are condemned to ride the west forever until they are brought to justice, which is just enough of a supernatural foot-in-the-door for a sudden dust storm to transport me back to the very day of the incident! This is my big chance to stop the crime, destroy the city's future tourist industry in the process and maybe buy a few shares of Microsoft Telegraph and Gas Lighting.

I'm allowed to take "I don't know what to do!" as an option and this results in meeting local Hard Man "Darby" who wants me to send a message to a "stage." Instead I ask him what century it is, because that's a nice and reasonable thing to ask. I consider this deep and immersive role-playing, since it seems the kind of person who would yell things out during a tourist trap speech might also have issues with ordinary human interaction.

Here's the answer I expected.

Instead of the anticipated "You some kind a mo-ron?" someone yells "cut" and you can probably guess where this is going. It's some sort of television show about "legends and how they affect the mind" that might have worked in the eighties before the idea wizards in charge figured out the average electronic toilet viewer just wants to point and laugh at rural America and not think too hard. The "dust storm" was just a lame special effect, everyone else was "herded" off the street and for some reason they allowed me to blunder into their shooting. 

I get one final bit of social awkwardness, lamenting my "dumb" behavior, while the director is all "could have been worse kid, much worse."

 "Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera!"

In the interest of fairness I can't really review this one based off of the short run I had. The story at least seemed to promise action and I didn't have to flip a coin or answer any personal questions to make a decision, which for this series represents progress. On the other hand I got a modified "It was all a dream!" ending. We'll call it a wash.

Aaron Zehner's first novel The Foolchild Invention is available in paperback and e-book format. Read free excerpts here and here.